I haven't posted here in a bit because nothing much is happening. But I guess that in itself is something I need help dealing with.
I'm just kind of existing. In limbo. Separated, but not divorced. No real end in sight in that, either, since her lawyer is doing whatever she can to stretch it out. Just going to work and doing my job and spending time with my kids and doing what I do at church. And hanging out with friends.
Which is all good, but I'm so used to moving towards a goal that I'm really uncomfortable with not having a plan.
And I can't really have a plan because I have no idea what is coming down the pike, and a lot of the moving on I need to do has to wait.
So, I'm in limbo.
I'd like to, at some point, start moving towards dating again. But I really can't until I'm actually divorced, nor do I actually know how to go about that anyway. I'd like to get moving towards some financial future where I'm not living in a little apartment and penny-pinching to get by. But I can't until I have some idea of what my financial fate will be. I'd like to start thinking about maybe taking classes again, but that, too, has to wait on financial decisions and such.
I hate this.
It's good to be reminded, from time to time, that "the mind of man plans his way, but God directs his steps", to realize that, much as we like to make our plans, our lives are ultimately in God's hands. And if we really understand 'how things are', that's really the best place we could possibly be. . .
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could try and see all of this as a break of sorts from having to do and think about all that stuff. Try not worrying because you aren't in a position to change it and just breathe for a bit.
ReplyDeleteLimbo is hard, when it happens- I hope it passes quickly for you. For now, as Therese says, just let it roll and try not to think too far ahead for a while.
ReplyDelete(And if this comment works, I'll cheer, lol!)