Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Blast from the Past

This past week I posted something on facebook that made oblique reference to my current situation.  Apparently there are a lot of people who know me and are friends of mine on facebook who hadn't known about the divorce.   I guess I haven't been very public about it.  Anyway, they saw the post, checked my info page, and then freaked out and emailed me. 

One of those is an ex-girlfriend of mine.  The closest thing I had to a "high school sweetheart."  We dated for a year from the end of high school (for me, she's 2 years younger) through my freshman year in college.  Sweet girl.  And one of my only ex-girlfriends that I don't have any harsh feelings towards. 

She was very concerned, and wanted to talk - to see if I was OK.  So, we talked.  That was weird.  First time I've spoken to this girl in 15 years or so.  Yet, even so, she still knew me scary well.  Just talking to me for a short time she pegged a LOT of stuff that's going on with me that I didn't even really realize all that well.  

She's married and happy.  Which is awesome.  She deserves it, especially after the childhood she had. 

But weird.  Weird emotions it brings up.  Gotta' figure out all that it means.


  1. I had 2 serious GFs before Jen. With both of 'em, I had a fairly lengthy period of time (a few years, in the one case; 15-20 in the other) during which I wasn't really in touch with them. And with both of 'em, when we finally did get back in touch, there was this uncanny 'recognition' - sort of a feeling of 'man, I remember that; it's why I liked her so much, back in the day'. . .

  2. I would guess one of the emotions it is bringing up is "I'm newly single and have a bit of freedom to start thinking other women again, especially ones with whom I've had a proven relationship. And maybe, honestly, I'm a bit horny."

    Sorry, was that too honest? Maybe I'm just putting on you what I'd probably be thinking if I were in the same situation. :-/

    Just be cautious. And patient.

  3. I'll do my best to be diplomatic here, Enzo, but just sit w/these thoughts for a while:

    (Side note: this "girl" is certainly a WOMAN now; inexact language grates on me!)

    Perhaps it's the change in roles - from GIRLfriend to just FRIEND - that's thrown you into turmoil**. FTN makes excellent points as well.

    **have you had any female FRIENDS w/out the sexual undercurrent?

  4. You are right, Val, she certainly is a woman. But the last time I talked to her she was 16. It's hard for me to see her as anything else.

    But she hasn't so much thrown me into turmoil. It's just been...well. How to put it? There's a lot of who I used to be that I've forgotten I was and forgotten how to be; and she's reminding me of it all. And she knows me. A lot of stuff I haven't thought about in a long time is been bubbling up to the surface.

    But, yeah, I have had a LOT of female friends in my life, and know how to do that dance pretty well. Most of my best friends throughout my adult life have been female. And, yeah, there's some interesting neurosis tied into that. But I can do that. But this girl was never before just a friend. That makes it a bit different.