Sunday, May 1, 2011


So, I finally was able to get the rest of my stuff out of her house yesterday.  She made it a lot harder than it should have been.  I could have gone over just about any time and got stuff, or sent someone else if she didn't want me there.  But, no, the time had to be scheduled in advance, negotiated by lawyers, and she had to have "witnesses" there.   I guess she was afraid I'd go crazy, running through the house, and taking all her stuff.

Since I'm so known for that sort of thing.

But we were finally able to do it, and got it all over here.

And that's a pretty big milestone, and it carries with it it's own emotional content.  That place truly is no longer my home at all.  Not only do I not live there, and am not allowed to go over there, but none of my stuff is there.  It is all hers now.  This place here is my home now. 

It wasn't the nicest house in the world, but I still put a lot of work into it.  Even more, I put a lot of dreams into it.  And it has a lot of memories.  And it's no longer mine because it was taken from me.  I'm no longer family man living in the nice house in the nice part of town.  Now I'm living in a bachelor pad on the less nice part of town.  That's a hard transition, and this makes it all real now. 

All I have is my life is what I have right here.  I'm not a stuff person, in terms of finding happiness in things (well, except for books, but those are a bit different), but it's the simple fact that she has rather effectively removed me and cleansed the remaining traces of me from her life.  The fact that my stuff is HERE was important to her because that means it isn't THERE. 


  1. Sorry... even not being a stuff person, that's a big impact, cuz much or little, it was in that home, where you'd put those dreams... I hope you have to deal less and less with goofy lawyer things, for the simpler parts anyway.

  2. Not being a 'stuff person' will serve you well as you go through your life. I suspect that I'm more of a 'stuff person' than I really want to think I am. . .

    Sorry for the petty grief and lawyer-posturing you had to endure. I worry, on your behalf, that it doesn't bode well for how X and her lawyer aim to conduct themselves. . .

  3. I wish I could say something that might make you feel better, but I know you have to feel and mourn the loss in your own time. Maybe it would help if you could see this as all part of saying goodbye to a heartbreakingly painful relationship, and the more steps like this you get behind you, the closer you will be to starting a better future for yourself.

    We're here for you in any way you need.

  4. Sorry to hear that. I just wanted to echo what the others have already said. The transition probably would have been even worse, had you been more of a "stuff person."

    So do you have adequate room in your new place for the stuff that you DO have?

  5. I know that all this is for the best. She really wasn't nice to me and purposely kept me unhappy. But it's just hard. And leaving behind dreams and future plans as well as memories... Just hard.

    Yes, FTN, I do have adequate room. Barely. I have a little storage closet off the patio of my apartment that is stuffed to the roof, and my apartment looks a LOT smaller with all the bookcases, but it all fits.