Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I'm just tired

First of all, thanks so much to all my bloggy friends who have found me here.  FTN, great to hear from you.  Aphron, glad you came by.  Thanks, everyone, for all your support.  Even that one girl named "Val" that left a comment that I was kind of half thinking was actually making fun of me.  But even if it was, welcome.

So, today.  Today sucked.

Not most of it.  Most of it was awesome.  I went in to see my therapist at 5:00 and I when he asked how I was I said, "I'm good.  I'm actually good.  I think I'm getting a handle on this stuff."

Boy, teach me to jinx it.  I wasn't even out the door with my therapist when one of my friends called me.  So, apparently my ex's boyfriend thought it was appropriate to post something criticizing me on facebook - over an incident he knew next to nothing about.  And he did it in the most insulting terms possible. 

OK.  What do I do?  I tried being mad, but it all just came out tired.  But, seriously, what could I possibly do?  Call him out on it?  How would that do anything other than make it worse?  He (and I'm seriously not making this up) thinks he actually knows both sides of everything going on, despite not actually talking to me for six months.  The friend that called me was talking to both me and Madam X up until about a month ago when the ex de-friended her (in facebook and in real life) for not taking her side on everything.  But up until then, she was talking to us both.  And X's boyfriend had the gall (and insanity) to tell this friend that she had taken her position because she didn't know both sides like he did. 

So, seriously, would talking to someone that detached from reality do anything good?  And would macho bluster over my reputation do anything but make me look even worse?  It's a no-win scenario.  Well, except for that whole "vengence is mine, says the Lord" thing. 

Father at church recommended that I let God handle it.  In his words, "the best way to defeat the assaults of the devil is to ignore them."  And he's right.  But I can't help feeling like a doormat. 


  1. Seriously (and all the moreso for people in their 30s who are supposed to be grown-ups), this is laughably junior-high-ish behavior - who likes who, and who said what to who, and blah. . . blah. . . blah. . . (To say nothing of the gossipy-ness of it, and what Scripture has to say about that)

    Father is right - ignoring it really is your best option. Anybody who still wants to play the little junior-high popularity games, let 'em. They're saying WAAAAYYYY more about their own social-developmentally-13 selves than they ever will about you.

    Seriously; shit like this (and it really is laughable, even pathetic, if you can step back and look at it objectively) should just make you all the more glad that he's your ex-friend. . .

  2. Craig said it best. Some ever leave junior high. If you keep getting yourself tied up in knots, then you will be knotted. Be the bigger man and move on.

  3. Sounds a lot like what my daughter describes as daily life- in 8th grade. He's not worth getting angry with, and perhaps that's why you only felt "tired", it's because it's tiresome. Father is correct- ignore, let God deal with it; it doesn't make you a doormat, to be more mature than others.

  4. Laughing WITH you, not AT you, my dear!
    (I have a very black & quirky sense of humor)
    Best wishes, Val

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  6. Yeah, I know I should just ignore him. I'm just really tired of people saying whatever they want about me to make themselves look better - especially since there are a lot of people out there very predispositioned to believe all of it.

    And Val, no worried at all. I'm glad you found me here, and I look forward to getting to know you. I started trying to go through your blog, but it'll take me awhile. You've been at this for quite a few years!

  7. does that mean we can't slash his tires??? geez. And do you know, I had to dust off some old email addresses and passwords to comment here.

  8. No, RS, we can't slash his tires. Sorry. :)