Saturday, April 2, 2011

I'm still in a funk today

I don't really know why.  Well, yeah I do.  Kinda'. 

I miss my wife.  Yeah, she was evil and mean and made my life hell, but at least she was mine and I was hers.  There was someone to whom, whether she liked it or not, I had to be the top priority.  As she was mine, like it or not. 

And now I'm not anyone's priority.  I have friends.  Good friends, who are wonderful people and who care about me, and would do anything for me.  But they all have other priorities that are higher.  It's not wrong - in fact, it is the only way they can make their choices in the right way.  It's not their fault - any of them.  It's just the way it is.  But it hurts all the same. 

I don't know how to be this person.  I don't know how to live this life.  I don't know how to do this.


  1. This is actually a pretty insightful post; which, I realize, isn't much comfort to you. . .

    Someone once described divorce like having your heart pulled out of your chest by the roots, like an oak tree, leaving a bleeding hole behind. No matter how bad the marriage was, after 11 years, there was a whole web of connections between the two of you that can't just be undone without a lot of bleeding.

    I do pray for you. I know it kinda sucks to be you right now. But I also know that you know where to go with your pain. . .

    - Craig

  2. Yeah.. has to be a huge hole to be filled with something. Praying for you...