Not that it's bad. It's just surprising. Everything is so new.
So, this morning, I was asked by Father to serve again at the altar. That is now the second Sunday I've done this: Palm Sunday and Easter. Those are kind of big, as far as Sundays go. I still have no real idea what I'm doing. But he has confidence in me. And so does most of the congregation. They are always so supportive and complementary.
But it's just really new. The whole vesting myself is new enough. But so is all the rest. And I still don't understand all of it. It's not bad, just new and different and kind of weird. So, still scary.
I had my kids on kind of a weird schedule this weekend in order to keep away from what, to my ex-wife, would be the worst thing conceivable: me taking my kids to church. The handing back and forth got a bit tiring. But, still, my kids are very happy and are very affectionate with me. They love me. And I love them dearly.
I continued my weekly dinner party thing, this time having RS and Therese over for an Easter dinner: leg of lamb, a pilaf with kind of an Azerbijani flavor, and a cream of spinach soup for an opening. Complex. Kind of difficult. I broiled the leg of lamb and the amount of smoke it poured out was astonishing - I thought for sure someone would call the fire department on me. But it all turned out very nice.
A nice night with nice friend and good food and good wine, and it was fun.
But all this: this is my life? So very, very different from what it was just months ago. So different that you would have never convinced me then that this is how I would be living. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it all - even as I go forward rather boldly with all of it.
Does that even make sense? I'm not sure. Yet, here I am.