The hardest part of all this is just overcoming the sense of the unreality of all this. Literally, every day I wake up and I look in the mirror and have to convince myself that, yes, this actually really is happening and, yes, this actually for real is my life.
And every single day, I find myself surprised by that fact.
I totally get that. Every morning I wake up and think, "Holy crap! I'm in the Army!" Life takes you places you never expect.
ReplyDeleteRemember, though, that this isn't really your life in any permanent sense, because things won't always be in flux like this. Its just a transition into your whole new life. And it can only get better from here.
Yeah, I hear you. When our daughter was running off with her asshole, and our son was just running off, many were the times we just sat and looked at each other, wondering how in the hell we got to that point. . .
ReplyDeleteAnd we kept thinking about what Mother Theresa said about God calling us to be, not successful, but faithful. . .
And what Therese said - it can only get better from here. . . ;)
Hmm... what happened to the comment?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm "thirding" Therese and Craig, it can only get better- and I'm praying, soon!
I was having some trouble commenting... I guess it's due to some of my Firefox add-ons; I've turned them all off and I can finally leave a comment!
ReplyDeleteSo. All of this really does suck. It's heartbreaking to read -- particularly the posts about your kids, that's heart-wrenching stuff. I can only imagine that it does seem like a perpetual dream state.
Since you commented on my last post, I read through your blog. First of all, your marriage started out a lot like mine. I totally understand your being of two minds about the whole thing. Hang in there! Try to be the father to your kids. I'll be checking on you.
ReplyDeleteAphron