... and it really spoke to me: The Five Friends Who Will Get You Through Divorce
Do I have these five friends? Well, let's see.
1) The Vault. The person who just listens. I have several people who fulfill this role in some form or another, but nobody who just does it all. I certainly do not have a shortage of people to talk about how I'm feeling right now. My priest at church to start with.
2) The Entertainer: Right now this position is being fulfilled rather admirably by RS, who a lot of people around these parts know pretty well. He's a bit more laid back about things than the author's entertainer, but whether it is paintball or movies or just hanging out and watching TV, he's the one watching out for this side of me. And I appreciate it more than I can say.
3) The Taskmaster: This is the one I DON'T need. I've kept that part up rather well, I think. Mainly because stepping out of the emotional side and focusing on the numbers and procedures is a defense mechanism related to my depersonalization of things.
4) Your First Single-Parent Friend. This one I need. Badly.
5) The Fountain of Youth: The one who has known you forever. That's an interesting thought. I mean, I talk to my brother a lot, and he certainly qualifies here. He's good. But one of the first things I did when all this went down is reach out to a friend of mine from college that I hadn't talked to in a decade. She was one of my best friends during the time when I first met the ex and got married, and so I reached out, mainly, to ask, "Who was I back then, before her?" Because how else will I know who to be NOW? That was an awesome friendship to rekindle.
So, what do I take away from this? Go find a single-parent support group or message board or some sort of community thing I can plug into. Maybe through church? If not the exact group/parish I'm in now (which is absolutely tiny) certainly somewhere in town in the same general religious genre.
Edit: I updated the link to the original blog it appeared on.